I’m quite sensitive to this time of year; the holiday season. Folks are decorating their homes, creating holiday plans and will eventually gather with their loved ones. It’s a time to celebrate one another and to reunite as a family. But for some people, the holidays are the worst time of the year. Tragedy may have struck your life; loss of a loved one, end of a relationship, or maybe a serious illness has appeared. I empathize with you. Experiencing tragedy -whatever the tragedy- isn’t easy. Whether this has been a rough year or a collimation of rough years, you may not be looking forward to the holidays. There’s a certain heaviness that arises during this season. You’re witnessing everyone around you so joy-filled as they gather with their loved ones, whereas you’re struggling to get through the day. It’s exhausting, huh? My heart feels for yours as you deal with feelings of dread, hurt or pain. Know this is just a season, it will pass. I assure you there is hope for you in the midst of your journey. I trust you will become encouraged and feel lighter as you continue.
The heaviness of life is incomparable to the love of God. Though we will never fully understand the works of God, we can rest assured knowing He is with us and for us. There is no greater love than the love of Jesus Christ. One thing we know for sure is that trials and tribulations will come but they will also go. It’s what you do in the midst of the trial that will help carry you through. As I experienced some of my darkest days during my late teens/early twenties, God was the last thing on my mind. My loss, pain and disappointment was louder than anything else. I was carrying so much hurt internally all while trying to hold it all together. As I reflect on those years, I’ve begun to see things clearer than I once did. I see how present God was in my life. I recognize I didn’t have a deep desire for Him yet He was so close. Although I didn’t spend much time with Him, He was always with me. And through my own disbelief of the magnitude of His love, He loved me in spite of me. The same God who was with me, protecting me and loving me in one of my darkest seasons is the same God who is with you. Whether you feel His love or presence in this moment or not, it’s okay. I pray He begins to reveal Himself to you.
Recently, as I was sitting in reflection these words came to mind; to carve and to crave. To carve means to cut something with care or precision. To crave something is to want greatly and to yearn for. I wonder, how much would our minds shift if we focused less on things we can see to focus more on things unseen. I could see the personal impact of losing a loved one. I could see my family dynamic shifting. All of which I was not handling well. What I couldn’t see was how safe, whole and healthy my loved ones are now that they’ve transitioned. I didn’t want to consider the idea that my loved ones may be absent in the body but they are present with the Lord. I can hear my younger self, uninterested because of the amount of pain however I wish she would’ve known how to accept it. Nevertheless, it’s an idea I’m embracing more in my adult years. These words are for us to consider no matter what you’re dealing with in this season of life. If you’re willing, dig a little deeper yourself to become grateful for what you had and still have. Here’s a few thoughts on how you can start carving and craving to get through hard days.
CARVE out time to CRAVE Him.
I understand the demands of life. We have many tasks to complete and goals to reach. We are thrown into various situations where we must adapt rather quickly. Time is so precious and our lives are so complex yet He is asking us to cut out time for Him. It’s about being close to Him which is the safest place to be. Our relationship with Him, like any relationship of value, requires quality time. He desires us and wants us to desire Him too. Your time with Him is an opportunity to reflect on who He is and who He has been in your life. Everytime I consider where I could’ve been and how it doesn’t reflect where I am today I know it’s because of His grace. He is our provider and protector. He provides what we need, when we need it and how. He makes a way for us out of now way. Focusing on Him brings out gratitude from the heart. Even in hard times, gratitude creates a hunger to be with Him. During this time express what you can in prayer or write it in your journal. Tell Him all you’re experiencing. He cares about all things on your mind; both great and small. Whatever brings you joy or the pain of you broken heart, express it. It’s a privilege to talk intimately with God. Once you do so, give space for Him to respond. Through my own experience I’ve witnessed how much I can trust God with my true thoughts. Even in my silence, only letting my tears speak, I know He understands what’s on my heart. He knows us better than we know ourself. There’s nothing you can say that will shock our Father. I know in my heart that if God was looking out for me when I was distant, how much more will He take care of me when I am close. Even in the midst of our painful situations He is always good, forever faithful and our very present help. When you look for Him, you will see how present He was and is in every situation. That alone should give you hope for your journey because God cares for you too.
CARVE your thoughts and CRAVE His word.
In the midst of some of your hardest seasons thoughts of inadequacy, lack of value and more arise. You often replay hurtful words spoken by someone you trusted and loved. Or you believe lies you’ve spoken that diminishes your own self worth. These words can easily tear you down which is quite paralyzing. This is what the enemy wants for you, to believe his lies. I urge you to believe what is true by craving what God’s word says. Ask, seek and find out God’s point of view of you! His word will help etch these thoughts out of your mind and heart. The next time you find yourself reciting negative words, stop. Verbally declare “God loves Me. He deemed Me worthy. He knows Me by name. I’ve been accepted into His family. And not only is He fighting for Me, He has already won the victory”. As you proclaim it, meditate on what you have spoken. Your words have great meaning. As feelings of defeat or hopelessness stir internally, search for His word. God’s word has the power to silence every lie you’ve ever believed was true. It’ll grant you security and peace which will carry you through this season. Simply ask your Father to confirm His word and His thoughts about you everyday. The more you ask, the more you will see and believe in His words.
CARVE out isolation to CRAVE communion.
As difficult seasons continue isolation “feels” like the best place to be. You want to be far away from those who may have caused you pain. Away from those who may not understand your grief. You simply want to be away and alone. You have no desire to consistently talk about what’s going on or even pretend to be happy. The very thing you’re experiencing may be so massive that you have no emotional or mental space to process what’s going on. I get it, more than you could imagine. I’ve had several seasons where I wanted to be left alone. I felt like my community didn’t fully understand all I was processing and carrying. No one could experience my reality but me. Despite my thoughts, God used my community to keep me grounded. Whatever this season holds for you, don’t carry it alone. The Lord placed you in a family for a purpose. Family can be those related and those chosen to be apart of your community. They are a gift. They can pray on your behave, speak life into you and embrace you for who you are. They can’t take your pain away but they can remind you how much you are loved and accepted. One year during the holidays, my family got together as we typically do. Everyone was sitting around talking and laughing however I was quiet and in deep thought. I was feeling incredibly heavy internally. And though I was surrounded by family I felt so alone. As I sat there, in a daze, one of my cousins came over to me. He didn’t say a word instead he simply sat close to me. That moment still fills my heart with peace and love even today. Only God knew what I was thinking in that moment because I never shared it. He also knew what I needed. I am grateful He used someone in my community to reach me. I was able to come out of my thoughts and felt comforted. When you are in the habit of communing with God, you’ll recognize Him everywhere. His presence, His touch, His voice can easily come through the very people in our lives. So crave communion with you Heavenly Father. He has a special way of letting us know we are not alone.
Nevertheless, be intentional to crave a grateful heart throughout your journey. Gratitude will take you much further. You already know, God knows the end from the beginning. He will see you through this. Even though you may not understand why this has happened let it be a call to get close to Him, crave His word and commune with Him and your tribe. As you spend more time communicating with God you will find yourself becoming lighter and stronger. In a previous blog post Let nature take its course I shared how spending time in nature can benefit us. Even in the midst of chaos nature’s natural instincts will always kick-in. We can learn from the animals and plants that surround us. They move without fear or hesitation even through stormy weather. Spend some time outdoors to meditate on the one who is, was and is to come. Crave the Prince of peace and Jehovah Jireh. Begin carving and craving during this season so He can do what He wants in and through you.
If you have a way to carve and to crave that’s helped you through hard times, share it in the comments below. It may help someone else on their journey.
